Woody Allen

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: read more

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve
it through not dying.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve
it through not dying.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.