Woody Allen

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I
looked into the soul of the boy read more

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I
looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite read more

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: read more

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.

If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.