Woody Allen

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy read more

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any