Woody Allen

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: read more

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.