Woody Allen

I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite read more

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.

What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.

What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she
would come in and sink my read more

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she
would come in and sink my boats.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, read more

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.