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Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has read more
Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages
Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you read more
Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, read more
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, read more
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.
I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different read more
I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwhiches? All-encompassingly...
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one read more
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework
