Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

The fear of making permanent commitments can change the mutual love of husband and wife into two loves of self-two read more

The fear of making permanent commitments can change the mutual love of husband and wife into two loves of self-two loves existing side by side, until they end in separation.

Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy read more

Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.

I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different read more

I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwhiches? All-encompassingly...

Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you read more

Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.

The most protean aspect of comedy is its potentiality for transcending itself, for responding to the conditions of tragedy by read more

The most protean aspect of comedy is its potentiality for transcending itself, for responding to the conditions of tragedy by laughing in the darkness.

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one read more

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

When people get married because they think it's a long-time love affair, they'll be divorced very soon, because all love read more

When people get married because they think it's a long-time love affair, they'll be divorced very soon, because all love affairs end in disappointment. But marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity.