When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another, but a read more

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy read more

Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.

The fear of making permanent commitments can change the mutual love of husband and wife into two loves of self-two read more

The fear of making permanent commitments can change the mutual love of husband and wife into two loves of self-two loves existing side by side, until they end in separation.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, read more

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

What do you mean, funny? Funny-peculiar or funny ha-ha?

What do you mean, funny? Funny-peculiar or funny ha-ha?

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one read more

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary by-pass. After such a monumental assault on the heart, it takes read more

Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary by-pass. After such a monumental assault on the heart, it takes years to amend all the habits and attitudes that led up to it.

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

The most protean aspect of comedy is its potentiality for transcending itself, for responding to the conditions of tragedy by read more

The most protean aspect of comedy is its potentiality for transcending itself, for responding to the conditions of tragedy by laughing in the darkness.