The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another read more

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.

Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.

Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.

Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything read more

Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong.

Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it 'dull' that Jesse James once got bitten on read more

Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it 'dull' that Jesse James once got bitten on the forehead by an ant, and at first it didn't seem like anything, but then the bite got worse and worse, so he went to a doctor in town, and the secretary told him to wait, so he sat down and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and then finally he got to see the doctor, and the doctor put some salve on it? You call that dull?

I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, read more

I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, read more

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. 'Oh, no,' I said, 'Disneyland burned down.' He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping read more

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.

Is anything besides the mind ever boggled?

Is anything besides the mind ever boggled?

Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you read more

Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.