Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has read more

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different read more

I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwhiches? All-encompassingly...

What do you mean, funny? Funny-peculiar or funny ha-ha?

What do you mean, funny? Funny-peculiar or funny ha-ha?

Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you read more

Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, read more

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one read more

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'