Any girl can be glamorous; all you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

Any girl can be glamorous; all you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and read more

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with

A man's as old as he's feeling. A woman as old as she looks.

A man's as old as he's feeling. A woman as old as she looks.

Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then they turn read more

Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then they turn full-bodied with age until they go sour and vinegary and give you a headache.

When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

Do you know why the Lord withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead read more

Do you know why the Lord withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead of laugh at you.

It is the difference between men and women, not the sameness, that creates the tension and the delight.

It is the difference between men and women, not the sameness, that creates the tension and the delight.