Any girl can be glamorous; all you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

Any girl can be glamorous; all you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

Remarriage: A triumph of hope over experience.

Remarriage: A triumph of hope over experience.

Men represent the triumph of mind over morals, whereas women represent the triumph of matter over mind.

Men represent the triumph of mind over morals, whereas women represent the triumph of matter over mind.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

It is the difference between men and women, not the sameness, that creates the tension and the delight.

It is the difference between men and women, not the sameness, that creates the tension and the delight.

Women and cats do as they damned well please, and men and dogs had best learn to live with it.

Women and cats do as they damned well please, and men and dogs had best learn to live with it.

Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then they turn read more

Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then they turn full-bodied with age until they go sour and vinegary and give you a headache.

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and read more

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with

When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.