Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.

You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they get older.

You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they get older.

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.

And behind every man who's a failure there's a woman, too!

And behind every man who's a failure there's a woman, too!

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.

He knows little, who will tell his wife all he knows.

He knows little, who will tell his wife all he knows.

I'm not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You're as old as you feel.

I'm not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You're as old as you feel.

Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired

Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired

Men say they love independence in a woman, but they don't waste a second demolishing it brick by brick.

Men say they love independence in a woman, but they don't waste a second demolishing it brick by brick.