When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Just as women are afraid of receiving, men are afraid of giving.

Just as women are afraid of receiving, men are afraid of giving.

Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.

Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as read more

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequences than to have a really affectionate mother.

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequences than to have a really affectionate mother.

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that read more

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.

Love is lost in men's capricious minds, but in women s, it fills all the room it finds.

Love is lost in men's capricious minds, but in women s, it fills all the room it finds.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.

Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.