If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.

If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.

When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the read more

When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims of intact ones.

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the read more

Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman.

He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.

He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.

A woman's head is always influenced by heart; but a man's heart by his head. -Lady Marguerite Blessington.

A woman's head is always influenced by heart; but a man's heart by his head. -Lady Marguerite Blessington.

Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.

Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".