Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the read more

Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman.

And behind every man who's a failure there's a woman, too!

And behind every man who's a failure there's a woman, too!

A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty.

A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty.

The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.

The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including: * Both of your socks should always be read more

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including: * Both of your socks should always be the same color * Or they should at least both be fairly dark.

I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life.

I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life.

Only a few human beings should grow to the square mile; they are commonly planted too close.

Only a few human beings should grow to the square mile; they are commonly planted too close.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like read more

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.