Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.

Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.

The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

Nor need we power or splendor, wide hall or lordly dome; the good, the true, the tender- these form the read more

Nor need we power or splendor, wide hall or lordly dome; the good, the true, the tender- these form the wealth of home.

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to read more

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.

Adam knew Eve his wife and she conceived. It is a pity that this is still the only knowledge of read more

Adam knew Eve his wife and she conceived. It is a pity that this is still the only knowledge of their wives at which some men seem to arrive.

Woman was God's second mistake.

Woman was God's second mistake.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, read more

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.

Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice read more

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting matches over such issues as toaster settings.