I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as read more

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

Where can a person be better than in the bosom of their family.

Where can a person be better than in the bosom of their family.

Good women always think it is their fault when someone else is being offensive. Bad women never take the blame read more

Good women always think it is their fault when someone else is being offensive. Bad women never take the blame for anything.

And behind every man who's a failure there's a woman, too!

And behind every man who's a failure there's a woman, too!

I'm not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You're as old as you feel.

I'm not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You're as old as you feel.

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.

Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where read more

Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where they worship arrested development.

Only a few human beings should grow to the square mile; they are commonly planted too close.

Only a few human beings should grow to the square mile; they are commonly planted too close.

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.