Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".

A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.

A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.

Women are the real architects of society. -Harriet Beecher Stowe.

Women are the real architects of society. -Harriet Beecher Stowe.

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.

Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.

If you want to know about a man you can find out an awful lot by looking at who he read more

If you want to know about a man you can find out an awful lot by looking at who he married.

They say that women talk too much. If you have worked in congress you know that the filibuster was invented read more

They say that women talk too much. If you have worked in congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. -Clare Booth Luce.

While farmers generally allow one rooster for ten hens, ten men are scarcely sufficient to service one woman.

While farmers generally allow one rooster for ten hens, ten men are scarcely sufficient to service one woman.

If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve read more

If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them.