The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on.

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Don't you realize that as long as you have to sit down to pee, you'll never be a dominant force read more

Don't you realize that as long as you have to sit down to pee, you'll never be a dominant force in the world? You'll never be a convincing technocrat or middle manager. Because people will know. She's in there sitting down.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

Give a woman an inch and she thinks she's a ruler

Give a woman an inch and she thinks she's a ruler

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

To behold her is an immediate check to loose behavior; to love her is a liberal education.

To behold her is an immediate check to loose behavior; to love her is a liberal education.

Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing they read more

Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing they die earlier.

She was not a women likely to settle for equality when sex gave her an advantage.

She was not a women likely to settle for equality when sex gave her an advantage.