She'd have you spew up what you've drunk when you were out.

She'd have you spew up what you've drunk when you were out.

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon them.

Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon them.

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your read more

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

While farmers generally allow one rooster for ten hens, ten men are scarcely sufficient to service one woman.

While farmers generally allow one rooster for ten hens, ten men are scarcely sufficient to service one woman.

Patience makes a woman beautiful in middle age.

Patience makes a woman beautiful in middle age.

The man that blushes is not quite a brute.

The man that blushes is not quite a brute.

The kind of power mothers have is enormous. Take the skyline of Istanbul -- enormous breasts, pathetic little willies, a read more

The kind of power mothers have is enormous. Take the skyline of Istanbul -- enormous breasts, pathetic little willies, a final revenge on Islam. I was so scared I had to crouch in the bottom of the boat when I saw it.