A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your read more

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

There is nothing enduring in life for a woman except what she builds in a man's heart.

There is nothing enduring in life for a woman except what she builds in a man's heart.

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.

Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.

The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.

To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.

The family is the nucleus of civilization.

The family is the nucleus of civilization.

Women see better than men. Men see lazily, if they do not expect to act. Women see quite without any read more

Women see better than men. Men see lazily, if they do not expect to act. Women see quite without any wish to act.

In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn read more

In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are apparently based on the ludicrous assumption that _men_ know how to fix things, when in fact all they know how to do is _look_ at things in a certain squinty-eyed manner, which they learned in Wood Shop; eventually, when enough things in the home are broken, they take a job requiring them to transfer to another home.