Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her read more

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again.

Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing they read more

Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing they die earlier.

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your read more

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family.

Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.

Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as read more

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life.

I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice read more

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting matches over such issues as toaster settings.