I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

What God hath joined together no man shall put asunder; God will
take care of that.

What God hath joined together no man shall put asunder; God will
take care of that.

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.

Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.

Never get married in the morning - you never know who you might meet that night.

Never get married in the morning - you never know who you might meet that night.

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages.
You can't divorce a book.

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages.
You can't divorce a book.

It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.

It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.