Josh Billings

There is [sic] two things in life for which we are never fully prepared, and that is--twins.

There is [sic] two things in life for which we are never fully prepared, and that is--twins.

If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.

If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing until it gets there.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing until it gets there.

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.