Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.

Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.

Marriage is a series of desperate arguments people feel passionately about.

Marriage is a series of desperate arguments people feel passionately about.

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh read more

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat.

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage";.

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage";.

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages.
You can't divorce a book.

I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages.
You can't divorce a book.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having read more

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.