Lasting harmony with a woman (was) an undertaking in which I
twice failed rather disgracefully.

Lasting harmony with a woman (was) an undertaking in which I
twice failed rather disgracefully.

Same-sex marriage is not the future.

Same-sex marriage is not the future.

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who read more

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Those who talk most about the blessings of marriage and the
constancy of its vows are the very people read more

Those who talk most about the blessings of marriage and the
constancy of its vows are the very people who declare that if the
chain were broken and the prisoners were left free to choose, the
whole social fabric would fly asunder. You can't have the
argument both ways. If the prisoner is happy, why lock him in?
If he is not, why pretend that he is?

Marriage is a series of desperate arguments people feel passionately about.

Marriage is a series of desperate arguments people feel passionately about.

Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.

Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.