Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold read more

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh read more

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat.

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

One advantage of marriage, it seems to me, is that when you fall out of love with him, or he read more

One advantage of marriage, it seems to me, is that when you fall out of love with him, or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you maybe fall in again.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds--they mature slowly.

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds--they mature slowly.

Well-married, a man is winged: ill-matched, he is shackled.

Well-married, a man is winged: ill-matched, he is shackled.