She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

The only way a woman can ever reform her husband is by boring him
so completely that he loses read more

The only way a woman can ever reform her husband is by boring him
so completely that he loses all possible interest in life.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?

Love is blind,but marriage is an eye opener.

Love is blind,but marriage is an eye opener.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.

Each moment of a happy lover's hour is worth an age of dull and common life

Each moment of a happy lover's hour is worth an age of dull and common life