Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll
be happy; if not, you'll read more

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll
be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.

If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse - as a man shoots himself.

If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse - as a man shoots himself.

The only way a woman can ever reform her husband is by boring him
so completely that he loses read more

The only way a woman can ever reform her husband is by boring him
so completely that he loses all possible interest in life.

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.