G-- knows I'm no the thing I should be,
Nor am I even the thing I could be,
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G-- knows I'm no the thing I should be,
Nor am I even the thing I could be,
But twenty times I rather would be
An atheist clean,
Than under gospel colours hid be,
Just for a screen.

a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
for a guy... the plant is already dead
(monologue Dec 10 2003).

a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
for a guy... the plant is already dead
(monologue Dec 10 2003).

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they read more

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

All religion, my friend, is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry.

All religion, my friend, is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry.

Anyone can count the seeds in an apple, but only God can count the number of apples in a seed.

Anyone can count the seeds in an apple, but only God can count the number of apples in a seed.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is read more

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one read more

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.