Woody Allen

Not only is there no God, but trying getting a plumber on weekends.

Not only is there no God, but trying getting a plumber on weekends.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying.