Woody Allen

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy read more

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.

How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.

The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..

The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..