Woody Allen

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she
would come in and sink my read more

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she
would come in and sink my boats.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss read more

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.

How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it read more

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.