Mark Twain

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live read more

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

The first half of life consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the read more

The first half of life consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the chance without the capacity. -Mark Twain.

God, grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the read more

God, grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference

All that I care to know is that a man is a human being--that is enough for me; he can't read more

All that I care to know is that a man is a human being--that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.