My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw, read more

My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw, After the first twenty minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live

The film begins with the title card from an Old Arabian Proverb: And the Prophet said, 'And lo, the beast read more

The film begins with the title card from an Old Arabian Proverb: And the Prophet said, 'And lo, the beast looked upon the face of beauty. And it stayed its hand from killing. And from that day, it was as one dead.'

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take read more

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it.

A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it.

Neil: The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard.

Neil: The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard.

When I look at the future, it's so bright it burns my eyes.

When I look at the future, it's so bright it burns my eyes.

The secret to film is that it's an illusion.

The secret to film is that it's an illusion.

The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films.

The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films.