My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that read more

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

A babe in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for read more

A babe in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for innocence on earth, a link between angels and men

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he read more

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not read more

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved.

No animal is so inexhaustable as an excited infant.

No animal is so inexhaustable as an excited infant.

Father asked us what was God's noblest work. Anna said men, but I said babies. Men are often bad, but read more

Father asked us what was God's noblest work. Anna said men, but I said babies. Men are often bad, but babies never are.

Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.

Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.

A baby is born with a need to be loved and never outgrows it.

A baby is born with a need to be loved and never outgrows it.