A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

A baby is born with a need to be loved and never outgrows it.

A baby is born with a need to be loved and never outgrows it.

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that read more

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

Father asked us what was God's noblest work. Anna said men, but I said babies. Men are often bad, but read more

Father asked us what was God's noblest work. Anna said men, but I said babies. Men are often bad, but babies never are.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and read more

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for

A woman has two smiles that an angel might envy - the smile that accepts a lover before words are read more

A woman has two smiles that an angel might envy - the smile that accepts a lover before words are uttered, and the smile that lights on the first born babe, and assures it of a mother's love.

A babe in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for read more

A babe in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for innocence on earth, a link between angels and men

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he read more

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.