Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.

Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.

No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in love with him read more

No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in love with him first.

The family is the school of duties... founded on love.

The family is the school of duties... founded on love.

Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where read more

Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where they worship arrested development.

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as read more

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

The man that blushes is not quite a brute.

The man that blushes is not quite a brute.

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind read more

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.

Marriage isn't a word... it's a sentence.

Marriage isn't a word... it's a sentence.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.