Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

There is a destiny that makes us brothers, No one goes his way alone; All that we send into the read more

There is a destiny that makes us brothers, No one goes his way alone; All that we send into the lives of others, Comes back into our own.

Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right, instantly

Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right, instantly

Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.

Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that read more

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.

And behind every man who's a failure there's a woman, too!

And behind every man who's a failure there's a woman, too!

She'd have you spew up what you've drunk when you were out.

She'd have you spew up what you've drunk when you were out.

When a man gets up to speak, people listen, then look. When a woman gets up, people look; then, if read more

When a man gets up to speak, people listen, then look. When a woman gets up, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like read more

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.