Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get read more

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.

A mother understands what a child does not say.

A mother understands what a child does not say.

He knows little, who will tell his wife all he knows.

He knows little, who will tell his wife all he knows.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated.

The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated.

I hate women because they always know where things are.

I hate women because they always know where things are.

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that read more

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.