The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run.

The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run.

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get read more

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your read more

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

A man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the same fallacy as the woman who read more

A man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the same fallacy as the woman who marries a man to reform him.

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with read more

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his read more

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his funny bone.

Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired

Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired