Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.

The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.

The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.

Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.

Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy-- the mother.

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy-- the mother.

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his read more

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his funny bone.

Parents: persons who spend half their time worrying how a child will turn out, and the rest of the time read more

Parents: persons who spend half their time worrying how a child will turn out, and the rest of the time wondering when a child will turn in.

The woman who is known only through a man is known wrong.

The woman who is known only through a man is known wrong.