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The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
On one issue, at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.
On one issue, at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.
Woman was God's second mistake.
Woman was God's second mistake.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
Be kind to thy father, for when thou were young, who loved thee so fondly as he? He caught the read more
Be kind to thy father, for when thou were young, who loved thee so fondly as he? He caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue, and joined in thy innocent glee.
The majority of persons choose their wives with as little prudence as they eat. They see a troll with nothing read more
The majority of persons choose their wives with as little prudence as they eat. They see a troll with nothing else to recommend her but a pair of thighs and choice hunkers, and so smart to void their seed that they marry her at once. They imagine they can live in marvelous contentment with handsome feet and ambrosial buttocks. Most men are accredited fools shortly after they leave the womb.
Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more
Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".
We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until we move from the passive voice to the read more
We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until we move from the passive voice to the active voice -- that is, until we have stopped saying "It got lost," and say, "I lost it.".