Two souls and one thought, two hearts and one pulse.

Two souls and one thought, two hearts and one pulse.

The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties.

The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties.

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

Same-sex marriage is not the future.

Same-sex marriage is not the future.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Heaven will be no heaven to me if I do not meet my wife there.

Heaven will be no heaven to me if I do not meet my wife there.

What God hath joined together no man shall put asunder; God will
take care of that.

What God hath joined together no man shall put asunder; God will
take care of that.