I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds--they mature slowly.

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds--they mature slowly.

Marriage is a mistake every man should make.

Marriage is a mistake every man should make.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy read more

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love read more

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all read more

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.

Same-sex marriage is not the future.

Same-sex marriage is not the future.

A good marriage is like a good trade: Each thinks he got the better deal.

A good marriage is like a good trade: Each thinks he got the better deal.