Inspiring bold John Barleycorn,
What dangers thou canst make us scorn!
Wi' tippenny, we fear nae evil;
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Inspiring bold John Barleycorn,
What dangers thou canst make us scorn!
Wi' tippenny, we fear nae evil;
Wi' usquebae, we'll face the devil!

And broughte of mighty ale a large quart.

And broughte of mighty ale a large quart.

Drinking will make a man quaff,
Quaffing will make a man sing,
Singing will make a man read more

Drinking will make a man quaff,
Quaffing will make a man sing,
Singing will make a man laugh,
And laughing long life doth bring,
Says old Simon the King.
- Unattributed Author, Old Sir Simon the King,

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

Mynheer Vandunck, though he never was drunk,
Sipped brandy and water gayly.

Mynheer Vandunck, though he never was drunk,
Sipped brandy and water gayly.

Or merry swains, who quaff the nut-brown ale,
And sing enamour'd of the nut-brown maid.

Or merry swains, who quaff the nut-brown ale,
And sing enamour'd of the nut-brown maid.

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.