When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low read more

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them... Well, it's killing me!

People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them... Well, it's killing me!

Mynheer Vandunck, though he never was drunk,
Sipped brandy and water gayly.

Mynheer Vandunck, though he never was drunk,
Sipped brandy and water gayly.

It's a long time between drinks.

It's a long time between drinks.

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Did you ever hear of Captain Wattle?
He was all for love and a little for the bottle.

Did you ever hear of Captain Wattle?
He was all for love and a little for the bottle.

Drinking will make a man quaff,
Quaffing will make a man sing,
Singing will make a man read more

Drinking will make a man quaff,
Quaffing will make a man sing,
Singing will make a man laugh,
And laughing long life doth bring,
Says old Simon the King.
- Unattributed Author, Old Sir Simon the King,

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.