You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.

Drinking will make a man quaff,
Quaffing will make a man sing,
Singing will make a man read more

Drinking will make a man quaff,
Quaffing will make a man sing,
Singing will make a man laugh,
And laughing long life doth bring,
Says old Simon the King.
- Unattributed Author, Old Sir Simon the King,

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Inspiring bold John Barleycorn,
What dangers thou canst make us scorn!
Wi' tippenny, we fear nae evil;
read more

Inspiring bold John Barleycorn,
What dangers thou canst make us scorn!
Wi' tippenny, we fear nae evil;
Wi' usquebae, we'll face the devil!

I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no
occasion.

I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no
occasion.

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.

Nose, nose, holly red nose,
And who gave thee that jolly red nose?
Nutmegs and ginger, cinammon read more

Nose, nose, holly red nose,
And who gave thee that jolly red nose?
Nutmegs and ginger, cinammon and cloves;
And they gave me this jolly red nose.