I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then, all of a sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man, those ducks really take off! Also, Baby Duck Hat is good for parties.
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Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by read more
Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, read more
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late.
A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell read more
A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.
Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.
Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.
Sometimes, when I drive across the desert in the middle of the night, with no other cars around, I start read more
Sometimes, when I drive across the desert in the middle of the night, with no other cars around, I start imagining: What if there were no civilization out there? No cities, no factories, no people? And then I think: No people or factories? Then who made this car? And this highway? And I get so confused I have to stick my head out the window into the driving rain---unless there's lightning, because I could get struck on the head by a bolt.
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the read more
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I read more
If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.
When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It read more
When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a read more
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
