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			 If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a read more 
	 If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. 
		
 
	
			 I don't think I'm alone when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless read more 
	 I don't think I'm alone when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system. 
		
 
	
			 I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one read more 
	 I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it. 
		
 
	
			 I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.  
	 I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away. 
		
 
	
			 I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.  
	 I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye. 
		
 
	
			 A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell read more 
	 A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke. 
		
 
	
			 I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons sale. Many people could read more 
	 I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons sale. Many people could really use used ice picks. 
		
 
	
			 Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.  
	 Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you. 
		
 
	
			 If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping read more 
	 If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.