The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit,
The clock hath strucken twelve upon the bell;
My mistress made it one upon my cheek:
She is so hot because the meat is cold;
The meat is cold because you come not home;
You come not home because you have no stomach;
You have no stomach, having broke your fast;
But we, that know what 'tis to fast and pray,
Are penitent for your default to-day.
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Would the cook were o' my mind!
Would the cook were o' my mind!
Let's carve him as a dish fit for the gods,
Not hew him as a carcass fit for hounds.
Let's carve him as a dish fit for the gods,
Not hew him as a carcass fit for hounds.
I never strove to rule the roast,
She ne'er refus'd to pledge my toast.
I never strove to rule the roast,
She ne'er refus'd to pledge my toast.
And nearer as they came, a genial savour
Of certain stews, and roast-meats, and pilaus.
Things which read more
And nearer as they came, a genial savour
Of certain stews, and roast-meats, and pilaus.
Things which in hungry mortals' eyes find favour.
"Very well," cried I, "that's a good girl; I find you are
perfectly qualified for making converts, and so read more
"Very well," cried I, "that's a good girl; I find you are
perfectly qualified for making converts, and so go help your
mother to make the gooseberry bye."
Every investigation which is guided by principles of nature fixes
its ultimate aim entirely on gratifying the stomach.
Every investigation which is guided by principles of nature fixes
its ultimate aim entirely on gratifying the stomach.
Cookery is become an art, a noble science; cooks are gentlemen.
Cookery is become an art, a noble science; cooks are gentlemen.
Ever a glutton, at another's cost,
But in whose kitchen dwells perpetual frost.
Ever a glutton, at another's cost,
But in whose kitchen dwells perpetual frost.
