George Carlin

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it read more

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity

The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt read more

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.