George Carlin

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that read more

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.