George Carlin

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can read more

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us read more

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.