George Carlin

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-.

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a read more

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this read more

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.