George Carlin

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his read more

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that read more

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what read more

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams read more

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams it on the head of the person who lost the most money that day