George Carlin

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a read more

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac